A mother once gave her daughter a bag of nails
and told her that every time she lost her
temper or insulted somebody she must hammer
a nail into the back of their fence.
The first day the girl hit 14 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as she learned to control
her anger, the number of nails hammered daily
She discovered it was easier to hold her temper
than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally, the day came when the girl didn’t
lose her temper at all. She told her mother
about it and the mother suggested that the girl
now pull out one nail for each day that
she was able to hold her temper.
The days passed.
Finally, she told her mother that all the
nails were gone.
The mother took her daughter by the hand
and led her to the fence.
She said, “You have done well, my daughter,
but look at all the holes in the fence.
The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave
a scar just like these.”
You can put a knife in a person and draw it out.
It does not matter how many times you say I’m sorry;
the WOUND is still there.
A verbal wound is almost as bad as a physical one.
“How can I repair the fence?” asked the girl.
“Will it have to remain damaged forever?”
“Yes and no” said the mother.
“Our Rabbis say that if the fence is alive and responds to the way
you have changed, it too can change and heal itself.
If the fence is dead to the possibility of your repentance it will
carry its scars onward. The fence will never be as it was before,
but it doesn’t have to become like new to be a good fence.
If you do your part and change, and the fence does its part in response,
God will do something wonderful. God will promote a healing that will
make you and the fence better.
This process is called Atonement.
It means that the changes that come about from repentance
and forgiveness lead people to higher levels of relationship
than was the case before.”
“What happens if the fence doesn’t respond?” asked the girl.
“Can I ever make it whole?”
“You should try on three different occasions,” said the mother,
“but if the fence remains dead even after you have changed,
YOU can’t force it to become whole.
In that case you should fix another fence somewhere else.
There are always lots of fences that need fixing, and whenever
you fix a fence God will make something wonderful happen.
That is the miracle of Atonement.
God always responds to our attempts to change by helping
us change and always responds to our change by giving us
new and wonderful opportunities for Atonement.
This is why we have a Day of Atonement ten days
after the beginning of every new Year;
so the New Year will be a better one than the last one.”
as retold by Rabbi Allen S. Maller
Wars and Quarrels are mostly started by humans,
who are sinful by nature, they do not think deeply
about ramifications nor consequences of their verbal
or physical outburst that is spilled or acted out
in the moment of anger or jealousy.
In Proverbs 19:19,
King Solomon in his God given wisdom,
“A hot-tempered man MUST pay the penalty;
if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.”
That hot-headed man must realize and admit and change
his ways because nobody, not even God, can help him
if he does not TRULY AND HONESTLY REPENT of his ways!
♣ ♥ ♣
WHY IS “HUMILITY” AN INGREDIENT IN WISDOM?
Humility generates truth and objectivity.
Humility is freedom. Your personality expresses
itself in an organic, internally generated, and
more real way.
Humility is pleasure. Arrogance is pain.
Humility enables you to embrace others.
Humility deepens your relationship with God.
Until you know what you are willing to die for,
you have not yet begun to live.
A girl in love asked her boyfriend:
“Tell me, who do you love most in this world?”
“You, of course!”
“In your heart, what am I to you?”
The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said,
“You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was
lonely. During his sleep, God took one of Adam’s rib and created Eve.
Every man has been searching for his missing rib. Only when you find
the woman of your life will you no longer feel the lingering ache in
After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy
life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to
drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the
never-ending worries of daily problems. Their life became
mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities
of life began to gnaw away at their dreams and love for
The couple began to have more quarrels, and each quarrel
became more heated.
One day, after a quarrel, the girl ran out of the house.
At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, “You don’t love me!”
The boy hated her childishness, and out of impulse retorted,
“Maybe it was a mistake for us to be together!
You were never my missing rib!”
Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while.
He regretted what he said, but words spoken are like thrown
away water — you can never take them back. With tears, she
went home to pack her things and was determined on
breaking up. Before she left the house, the girl said,
“If I’m really not your missing rib, then please let me go.”
She continued, “It is less painful this way. Let us go on
our separate ways and search for our own partners.”
Five years went by. He never remarried but he had tried
to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country
and came back. She had married a foreigner and divorced.
He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark
and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering
ache in his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that
he was missing her.
One day they finally met — at the airport — a place where
there were many reunions and good-byes. He was going
away on a business trip. She was standing there alone,
with just the security door separating them. She smiled
at him gently.
(b): “How are you?”
(g): “I’m fine. How about you. Have you
found your missing rib?”
(g): “I’ll be flying to New York on the next flight.”
(b): “I’ll be back in 2 weeks time.”
(g): “Give me a call when you get back. You know my number.
Nothing has changed.”
With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.
One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in
New York — in the event that shocked the world.
Midnight. Once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before,
he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew that
she was the missing rib that he had so carelessly broken.
Take away LOVE and our earth is a tomb.
– Robert Browning
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the
hour of separation.
– Kahlil Gibran
Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after
having the best dream.
Sometimes people say things out of moments of fury.
Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and
detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones.
And even though we know that we ought to “think twice and
act wisely,” it’s often easier said than done.
Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our
control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in
our lives. Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept
what you have today.
“Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains.”
– Emilie Cady